OMG, it's so cute and tiny and I can SCROLL and click what I actually WANT!

(explanation: I'm using extended desktop and I have tablet only set on the monitor I'm drawing on and with the touchpad we're not really good friends...)

I can WORK FASTER!

I'll be streaming drawing tomorrow at 19 CET here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/world-of-p

This time I think the video and audio should be OK XD

http://www.livestream.com/pedes Want to try.

Starting in about 10 minutes.

A bookshelf!

[explanation: next to our house there is a junk pile: a place where people throw out things they do not need or can't take home while moving. A lot of it is, well, broken junk, but sometimes you can find treasures. From that pile I already own nice set of drawers and now THAT!]





It took me an hour and a half to tear of the ivy (OK, it was not ivy but something similar, too lazy to search) chase the bugs out and wash it (in the shower, lol) but isn't it amazing!? If I get my hands on a real camera (photos made in cell phone) I'll make some better pics!

I wish I could take that home when I'll be going back to Poland...

[on the photos you can also see my huge double desktop: 14'"and 15" LOL!]

I think I'm finally changing. This is actually the true reason I came here: to find myself. I'm starting to get rid of some ridiculous feeling I build up over the years and starting to treat myself seriously. And, what is more important, I'm starting to treat my art seriously, not longer with a "I should be doing something 'serious' now" guilt. It took me a month and a half and a serious refurnituring of the room, but at last I got rid of stupid fear-procrastination and I'm also creating more along with myself. I'm at last getting to the point where I don't try to create pretending to be different than I am, just being myself, only as good as I possibly can. It will probably take some more time to figure everything out and polish but, oh, even the newest, yet unfinfinished, page of Seclusion Inn is completely different (at least for me).
(Now, if only I had a scanner and didn't have to run to the university...)

What I have the problems with (or do I?) is the fact, that I'm turning more and more into a "freelancing artist" type. Without the leash that was trying not to wake my parents up I became even more nocturnal - though I have to admit I've been sleeping a lot better lately than at home. And I, again at last , really enjoy creating (instead of treating it as a fix of a drug; yes, I AM addicted). Also I tend to procrastinate eating ("Why am I hungry again, I've eaten 6 hours ago?") and going to sleep...


SHIT, I was supposed to take a shower and go to sleep an hour and half ago, as a friend is visiting me and will be arriving in the middle of the night around 7 a.m.

I've spend most of the day trying to make an illustration but I choose such a demanding perspective that in the end I've just crumpled the paper and thrown it to the ground. The most ironic thing about it is that I have a sketch and I know that's good and if I had a scanner I'd turn it into a digital painting (I think I will anyway).

I need it for tomorrow's class. Well, I think I can to without it, I have plan B, it's just... I wish I used the time I wasted on this on something else, like drawing a comic. Now I'm irritated and tired and I don't feel like going to sleep.


Just... fuck.

Uh, my parents asked today why didn't I update w_szklani. Partly because nothing happens, partly because I don't feel like it.
I've been a bit down lately. I think it's partly because I don't feel well. Oh, it's not that I'm sick again, it's more like after being sick I didn't get back into shape again. I've had moments of strange breathing (like there was not  enough oxygen in the air I've been inhaling) and though I told myself it's because of a cold I still had those kinds of moments before and after. It might be just stress-based, it might be something else. Well, if I get into choir we'll see XD
But apart from that I feel weakened, and when I am weakened of tired my tachycardia kicks in and makes me feel even worse... and that sucks, because I hate feeling bad and even more hate admitting it to people. Well, apart from when I was lying in bed and looking sick I haven't told my roommates...
which is probably stupid, because if I faint or something nobody will know anything. Guh. (no, wait, I told Tony I take heart medicine... or was it Atahualpa?)


I wanted to take some P.E. to get into shape, but taken that when I went to Tae-kwon-do I got sick I decided to take it easy and choose something lighter.  Problem is, things I would love to take consist of martial arts and voleyball.. which I can't take because I don't want to make my past injuries worse (hell with legs, but right wrist and arm are no laughing matters for aspiring artist) so I don't have much choice (no ficking aerobik, been there, done it, got the t-shirt)... Swimming pool? Tabletennis :D Football? (I don't know shit about the rules but I did OK three years ago..) or some kind of dance? (Why do they all end at 22:00???)

I still haven't decided on Japanese; it starts next Monday so there is stil time. Tomorrow I fight for some more courses.  Up till now I'm in: Shnittstelle (something on putting pictures together), sculpture and theater workshops. The latter is actually my faculty.
Tomorrow I'm fighting for painting workshops, if not: madhouses and fairytales. For some reason I've already gotten into madhouses... suspicious!

Hmm, so what am I studying, again?

Good stuff: Today came my my monitor and wacom nibs <3 God, the nib... it's like having a new pen. At first it was strange, now I can't believe I waited so long with ordering (well, I had no choice now, it was too worn down) And I've set up extended desktop so I actually have two screens: on one I'm writing this and have a lot of usual crap, the other sports my NEW LEGAL MANGASTUDIO DEBUT 4 opened with a comic page. It actually works well: even though I fool around at the moment  every now and then I do a small touch up. And if I decide to work I'll have this image glaring at me YOU"RE PROCRASTINATING! AND I can watch movies while drawing on the computer, lalala <3
I just have to get used to differet navigation (hat to set the tablet only to the secondary screen or it would be insane) but I'm getting there slowly.
Funny thing, the screen is not much bigger (14 " and 15") but I calibrated it and everything looks so much better! COLORS! I SEE COLORS! (Seriously< I tried to speedpaint something but I am too dead today).

OK, shower, bed. Now.

I have a story that I want to write down and put up for people to read (as kind of web serial but not too long - 4 or 5 stories). I had some parts of it written before, but now, finally, I managed to write what could be the beginning.
I was told that I can write quite well in Polish; now I want to check if I can do that in English too; I mean, they took some time to try to educate us in that language...
Well, here goes nothing (great thanks to n-th-green for proofread!!!)

 

( Meeting Mr. Nimmet )

king bitches!


( Beware of multi-language swearing )

I bet you don't care, but I have craphotos of 2 of the pages I made yesterday.




I will scan all 4 1/3 of them when I get some willpower to get to the scanner @ uni. Also I may finish it one day Yeah suuureeeee

I failed, but it still was worth it. For once, in one day I made more pages than usually for two weeks. Also, i tried a different attempt; it was even different from the one I planned in the beginning. Oh, yesterday while going to bed, I wanted to quit comics altogether; but today I see the pages aren't half as bad and I do much better layout and dialogs than when I fret over it too much (which is notoriously in Seclusion Inn).  It also made me realise how many different techniques I already know.

K, that's it, you can go now.

Uh, I guess it wasn't such a good idea to start 24 hour comics day in the shape I was in; I'm feeling dead now and I don't think I can complete 24 hours... Got stuck at a page even though i KNOW what's supposed to be there.

I'm giving up.

Anyway.


I've been thinking about the monitor. Seems like there is no way my parents would pick me up. This leaves a question what to do with the monitor: buy a new one or used one?
There is a used computer shop here and I could get a 17" CRT for 20 euros. I have kind of love-hate relationship with CRT: Some of them hurt my eyes, but I'm so curious about their color output...
*sigh* I don't knooooow! I guess I'd have to go and check them...

Choose the tools, choose the paper. Will experiment with a techique I discovered today at German classes.
Starting in some 10-15 minutes with developing the idea (there is a loud party so will probably not fall asleep before they turn the basses off).

Uuuh, I feel so dead and discouraged D:

Since the other blog is destined for my parents etc. it is quite censored; so even if you can't read Polish but you do read my journal you'd probably care about the things I haven't written there.

Facts omitted on the other blog:
1. I went into a bookstore to ask for the directions to the shop where they could have watercolors. There was manga shelf there.. and there was LOVELESS <3 (and XXXholic, but only later volumes and I have time to get it; need to keep an eye on my money).
So now I own 5 volumes of Loveless: 1 and 2 in English, 3 in Japanese (or is it 4?) and 7 and 8 in German. German version is not as neat as Japanese, but it's still much better quality than the USA one (Urgh, Tokyopop WHY did you do this to me?).
2. Eventually I found the art shop and bought a set of watercolors (actually spend a lot of time hesitating between a set of 12 dry cubes form a good producent that had 30% reduced price and a set of 12 in tubes. I decided in favour of the tubes; still not sure about the decision, actually... I'll know if it was right when I try them out... I love the little cubes, but thought that with liquid ones I can mix colors before putting in on the paper and if I want to work in A3 it might be better... I want to do some posters for myself and maybe try to do something to sell? Etsy? It seems I have a good understanding with watercolors! O.O I just need to make some nice compositions), a brush, an eraser (need one for classes and don't want to use my drawing one) and... a Copic Ciao marker. Uh, not THE Copic Marker, as those are INSANELY expensive; but the ciao ones have reduced price till tomorrow and I decided I want to try one out (and it was like 1,5 lunch).
The marker is interesting. I've only had water-based ones so far, and this one is alkohol based; it works differently, but I think I can see the appeal of working with a set of those... And I FEEL the quality (ZIG's can't compare!) (still I'm really glad I have the water-based ones as I can mix them really well with watercolors and make some tricks... a few more pages and I will possess the university scanner for some time and you'll see ;P ). It's a very light color, so I think I can use it for the base color of skin that won't be bothered with later watercolor blending on the surface; we'll see.
3. When entering the supermarket today I've walked straight into the hottest kiss I've ever seen IRL (I, the old perverd, BLUSHED!); and it was also something I would never see in Poland. Why? Well, because of the pair: the boy was looking about 20, the other MAN was well over 45. I mean, the older guy was not someone I'd consider attractive, but THE KISS... Really, really REALLY HOT!

Uh, I wanted to doodle something for Ellizjum and Kato, as they both have birthdays, but I'm dead and behind with comic work. GUUUH! DIGITAL INKING IS EVIL (when you have really crappy screen. How come other laptops have better screens? Mine shows saturated colors quite desaturated and the blacks - if you're not looking at exactly 90 degrees, which is hard to do - are actually slightly greenish grey (and white is yellowish XD).
And it's friggin SMALL!

SIGH

I'm going to buy a screen when i get the scholarship; a 22" one with HD resolution; that way I can comfortably work with two-window method :D

I had a dream today and it was a god dream. I dreamed I met some people and we started talking about art and digital art, and I told them all I learned in Photoshop I learned from tutorials of by myself and then I suddenly god a job. I think it was a job/internship in some kind of advertising agency or by making movies, as the next thing we were preparing the set and costumes for some kind of shooting. I remember worrying about how I have to go back to Bielefeld or the Semester and how I'm going to do both the job and studies and then I woke up.
*sigh*

I'm sick. It's either a cold or a flu or a swine flu (did I tell you we have a Mexican on the board? ;P) so I've spend the whole day in bed watching Heroes. ALL HAIL INTERNET! (Oh, and an episode of Code Geass ;) )

I hoped Ill be in shape to draw but it's already 9 p.m. and none of that yet. Damn!

Uh, Erasmus is killing me; I'm not durable enough to keep up with this kind of life XD


I need to sketch more and work more. I want to hide in my room and pretend I'm not there so no one can bother me XD

Anyway, have a crappy doodle; I can't even say how the colors look like, as the quality of my laptop screen is REALLY crappy. So I have an excuse, at least.

People who guess what I've been watching recently will be granted an abillity to forget this doodle (I mean, I don't even remember the details XD)


*yawn* I should go to sleep....

OK, it appears I have no internet now and will not have for another week. I can't read your journals now, but I will ASAP.

I've set a LJ just for the Erasmus cases, in Polish - for my parents and so on. If you read Polish go here:
http://w-szklarni.livejournal.com/

OK, gotta scram, the computer lab closes >.<

What is that anatomy thing you keep telling me about?
(Really stupid doodle)


I think I'm falling in love in Painter. It's still pretty much "Ooops, how did this happen" (like the impasto here XD) but I just LOVE the way it blends colors (as in: like paints really mix, not the Photoshop lets-desaturate-while-we're-at-it). I sense some defrauding of scholarship money in the future... (I have to get them first).

I've been nagged by n so many times that I've finally managed to draw him. Funny thing, I tried so many times and failed but suddently everything clicked into place (the fact that I've found reference for some parts helped).

Hereby I present you Esther, a character from Corridor Story we've been writing with n_th_green for a long time. His haircut is caused by the fact that for a reason he was quickly cutting off his hair. I'd like to point out that the hairSTYLE is a bit different, but I wanted to show the hairCUT so I made it like somebody went and styled his hair after washing. I'll try to catch the style with how his hair behaves naturally, now that I know how it's cut.

OK, enough babbling:


Satisfied? XD

( Cut for variations of hairstyle )Yeah, hairstyle is important for the apperance :D

And I really, really like this sketch

God, he's hot!
Also I liked this one, although it's only a scribble

And my pseudo-autoportret


Yes. they've been all used as voting incentives on Seclusion Inn (In fact the first one is now) simply because I put there whatever I have at hand LOL XD

Uh, so sleepey after last night's party... Still, have to work. Should eat some lunch/dinner/whatever and then I'll have energy to go!

Only two weeks before I go to Bielefeld D:

I wonder if there is a way of getting some used LCD cheaply in Bielefeld. Why?

The monitor I'm using atm is a mere 19".

My laptop is 14".


...
This is going to hurt...